Monday, March 22, 2010

Vox Commercialis. Corning's Old Brand Pyrex Overcome by Pop-Shattering Evil Twin. Pyrex as IED

Pyrex as IED
In-the-Kitchen Explosive Device

Goo a la Sharde Bleue

Pyrex the Name becomes Pyrex the Weapon
World Kitchen endangers your supper hour. 
The Pyrex Attack.

1.  Issue here:  Pyrex as Avatar for Fake Inferior.  Pyrex Attack.

Corning holds the registered trademark for Pyrex, and now the new Pyrex is a kitchen missile. Pyrex's parent company is World Kitchen, see://  Is that so? See the company history at ://  Regardless, the new Pyrex indeed pop-shatters -- an explosive experience. Prepare for Pyrex Attack-Ware.

This is not an issue of thermal shock.  Our experience is not a rumor. Ask my spattered shirt.

Unless you want sudden shards and chunks shattering after a loud pop over your stove and environs, includign you, throw out your new World Kitchen-made Pyrex ware. The name of the label means not the old meaning of the label. Pyrex is no more.  Throw it out. Corning used to make Pyrex, so our old Pyrex, that is 25 years old or so, seems to be ok.

Do not even plague your thrift shop with Pyrex, or try to claim a tax deduction for a charitable contribution. Do the world a favor and just throw it out. Snopes gives it a pass, see ://, but after last night, we don't. Others have also been attacked by their very own Pyrex, see :// 

2.  History.

Pyrex Ware.  Trust it.  Your mother used it. What happened.

The new product with the old name, this horrid avatar for the old trustworthy Pyrex -  we know from experience - suddenly will shatter all about in your hands. That shows the change, see the old durability at ://
  • We bought some of that nice blue "Pyrex" ware. A trip to Wal-Mart for some cuisine excitement.  
  • We also have old, real, Pyrex, as from mothers and mothers-in-law or old wedding presents, but none of that looks slick any more.  Eek, a scratch!  And we know we need to be updated in everything because the drones at HGTV say so. Yes, lead me to spend my money on junk. Nice blue junk.
3.  Our Trigger Event:
  • Tonight the nice blue fake "Pyrex" -- the company from the US was sold to somebody World Kitchen and whatever they did to the old manufacturing process and ingredients --  blew.  
  • We lifted the pretty blue square baking pan out of the oven, after half an hour at 325-350 digs, some nice pork in its sauce, all perky in the blue square "Pyrex" pan, to add to other ingredients already cooked in the stove-top pan all ready for the last addition; so the nice people in our family could have seasoned roasty pork and veggies (irony here - a Chinese-kind of sweet and sour sauce), all to go over nice rice already done. 
4.  Do not try this.  Denouement. Ha. 
  • Take out the nice square blue fake "Pyrex", hold it up with both hands, no contact one pan with the other, and tilt the blue to let its juices and pork slide into the bigger pan where the rest of the sauce and veggies wait expectantly, and 
  • The blue Pyrex just pops and blow-shatters.  All over. Shards, chunks, WHOOM. SHPLATTER, SHATTERCRASH.  Nothing left between the nice pot-holders!  All gone!
5.  Domestic Vengeance.  Initiate a boycott. 
  • The homemaker here is sick of cooking after a lifetime of it. She this time spent valuable time, family money, effort, in looking up what ingredients to put where. Guess where she says the ersatz Pyrex brand name-knock-offers can put their product, now that an evening's labor has exploded into Goo a la sharde bleue.
  • Kitchen elves everywhere:  Buy no World Kitchen-made Pyrex.  It is not Pyrex.  It is your worst nightmare.  It is avatar combined with evil twin. Please prove us wrong. This armor is getting hot.

    No comments: